Only Fools and Horses

We had a bit of a giggle in work today about putting different words to well known songs but with a police perspective. Just a bit of a laugh and please take it as intended… This is my feeble attempt to change the lyrics to the opening and closing song to the famous TV comedy “Only Fools and Horses”. I’m sure there are loads out there who could do so much better. If you can stick it on a reply.


Stick some acid in my pocket
There’s no insurance on the van
But if you want the best guns
Give no comment to questions
Then brother. Yo da man

Where they all came from is a mystery
I felt a hand upon my collar
blue light I could see

These are the ones
They’re driving me berserk
The cops have stopped me doing
My honest work

La la la la…..


We’ve got some burglars, fraudsters
Reams and reams of car thieves.
Peado’s, drink drive, robbery and other crimes
Old flames stupid games,
Everybody’s in a rush
A fella from the high street dealing cannabis
Bush bush bush bush bush bush bush

No Council tax no dignity
Depression and anxiety
Black or white
Rich or poor
We’ll get charges that’s for sure
God bless custody
Viva custody
Long live custody
Cest magnifique, custody
Magnifique, custody…..


2 thoughts on “Only Fools and Horses”

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