Irish Sausages

For those that don’t know, my father passed away at the beginning of June this year. I’m currently routing through his computer, saving what needs to be kept and binning the rest.

Dad was one of those people who found great entertainment from daft joke emails. He would religiously forward them to all his friends. It was quite surprising, after his death, how many people said they would miss his emails. Here is one I just found;

Irish Sausages

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money. Between them they had 1 Euro.

Murphy said;
“Hang on. I have an idea”

He took the money, walked into a butchers shop and bought one sausage.

Shamus said;
“Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money at all!”

Murphy replied;
“Don’t worry. Follow me”

Murphy went into the nearest pub and ordered two pints of Guinness and two shots of Jameson Whiskey.

“You’ve completely lost it” said Shamus. “Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money”.

Murphy smiled and replied;
“Don’t worry. I have a plan. Cheers!”

With that he downed his drinks and Shamus followed suit.

Murphy now took the sausage.

“Ok. I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth”

Shamus, worried to death about the bar bill did as he was told. The barman went ballistic and threw them out.

They continued this process, pub after pub and got very drunk for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus surrendered.
“Murphy. I don’t think I can carry on. I’m drunk and me knees are killing me.!”

Murphy looked at him and said;
“How do you think I feel. I can’t even remember which pub I lost the sausage in!”

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