This is my final post for now in the “Unpublished Series.” Again, this is particularly relevant to @pclocal who has just become a father. It did have a picture of wifey and I at the end. I’ve removed it…. I don’t think any of you are ready for that yet! Whilst the time spent on statutory maternity pay is financially crushing and what we are still trying to recover from, the time we had together was priceless.
I don’t know about you but I lead what can be at times a pretty hectic lifestyle. It wasn’t always like this. When I was a single lad and still living at home… (why didn’t I do some serious saving when I had the chance? ) I could come and go as I pleased. I played sport, I socialized with friends and colleagues and an invite to a night out for a meal or just a drink was rarely turned down. I had a full and active life but it was a schedule set by me.. and only me.
I then met my wife to be. We have now been together for nearly 15yrs, married for 11yrs and have three wonderful children. There’s no other way to look at it… we are blessed.
But what a change occurs in your life as you become a married man and a father. I don’t regret any of it… I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. But what a change. Life is now a dash from one children’s party to another interspersed with dancing, horse riding, brownies, choir, music lessons, swimming, school trips etc etc etc. We are run ragged just keeping up with our kids. But then for us adults there’s work, household chores and more. I also have responsibilities to the church, the flute choir and several others before you can even think about calling up a friend and asking if they want to go for a beer… in the just going for a beer sense instead of having a beer over a meeting about another matter!!
Life becomes very busy and looking at how we fit it all in I really do wonder what I did with all my time in years gone by. There is a 6yr gap between Middlest and Littlest. We had developed into a well practiced routine. Wifey and I both work full time and this generates all sorts of additional costs we could well do without. The hardest thing though is that I work shifts so I miss family time in the evenings when I’m off to work. On day shifts I’m out before Littlest gets up and back after he’s gone to bed. When my wife is working she works normal hours (generally) but does have to take trips around the country which takes her away from home. There are times when she walks through the door as I’m stood there in my coat ready to leave. We can pass like ships in the night. A state of existence where we rarely get the chance to talk and when we are all at home together we’re all so knackered that early nights are the order of the day.
Whilst the early nights have increased since Littlest’s arrival there is one fantastic angle to our current situation. Maternity leave. This is great. It’s fantastic we have a baby boy and I’m a very proud Dad but I have been reintroduced to a certain lady. The opportunity to spend time together is fantastic. We go to Town to buy nappies and have coffee and cake before going home. We have breakfast and dinner together more than we have done in a long time. This morning we went for a walk straight after school. Down all the lovely lanes around the village enjoying the autumn views and just talking. Talking about us and life and church and God and anything and everything. Our normal conversations revolve around coordinating our children! I over exaggerate a little of course but the crux of the point is that whilst she is off work we get to spend so much more time together. We are enjoying the moment and it’s a great reminder of all the reasons why I chose this lady for life. Meet my wife… I’ve just met her again and she’s ace.